He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
