We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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