and she was petting her beer can
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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