I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
