you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
