? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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