Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
