DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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