I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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