is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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