last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
