There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
