Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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