so that wasnt chicken after all
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
