Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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