We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize