I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
