worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize