i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
