I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
