so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
