I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize