guys are only as good as the porn they watch
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
