They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you win again, gameday.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
