I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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