I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
