question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Help. Why am I so naked?
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