your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
