is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
