first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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