having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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