just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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