there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
