You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
