he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
