he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
