As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
