Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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