Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
