Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will pee on everything he values.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
