i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize