Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
