dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
