This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
