you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
