He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
