no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
