You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
