So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
