when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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