apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
whose ass print is on the piano?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
