Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize