New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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