What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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