he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
