I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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