I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
