and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
