OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
