We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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