you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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