if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
